Who Is To Break The Ice (After A Quarrel Between Man And Woman)

when couple fight - who suppose to apologize

There will always be disagreement between partners, many times you wont even understand the basis for the disagreement and most times this misunderstanding could leads to both partners keeping malice and stop speaking to each other. This can go on and on, and in no time the whole situation may degenerated into a serous rift and the whole relationship will become as frozen as ice. There is a need for ice breaker at his junction or the relationship will end and if it's a marriage, breakup is imminent.

Then who break the ice..?

Dont point accusing finger at each othere

Speaking in term of tradition and norms, the woman is the one that supposed to break the ice. The woman is the one who has the duty to be submissive in a relationship but that doesn't mean that the man cant break the ice whenever the occasion arises.

In a relationship - no one is greater than the other. When disagreement occur, it shouldn't be taken as a battle for supremacy and dominance, rather disagreements should be seen as ways to understand each other better and breaking the ice shouldn't be like mission impossible.

How Do You Break The Ice?

1. Do It By Speaking To Your Partner Face To Face.

Speaking first in a frozen relationship might seem very difficult especially when both of you believed you're right and no one want to concede defeat. The best thing to do in such situation is to be the hero by speaking to your partner first - contrary to the general opinion that whoever break the ice had accepted defeat but rather it means you are more matured and a hero. Note that speaking first might not be that easy because your partner may put a kind of statue reaction by not responding to you at all or when they respond, it may be on the offensive. Especially if the disagreement had gone beyond few weeks and your partner felt hurt or disappointed by your actions. So be ready to push your way through by keeping an open mind - expect anything. Try to keep your anger in check and don't set a time frame for the conversation. Let it be a free conversation with no time or pressure and make sure your partner is in a stable mood.

2. By Giving Gift As A Peace Offering

Gifts has always being keys that open stubborn doors, especially the heart of people. Giving of gift will get you an attention from anyone including your partner. Don't parade the gift and don't try to present it yourself, you can get creative with it. you know where your partner frequent often in the house if you live together - so, surprise her by putting the gift in a place where she least expected it like in a cooking pot and place it on the stove. Watch her reaction after she has seen the gift and if its your husband, you must know there are times he will want to watch the TV, so you can put it on his favorite chair. But whatever you do - don't be supercilious about it. Let your attitude be equal to the gift you're given, don't do as if you're being forced or someone compelled you to do it.

3. Write An Apology Note

You can write your partner a note to break the ice and it wont cost you anything because the note should relax your partner's mood and pour cold water on their anger. Don't try to explain anything or justify your action in the note - just be straight to the point- Am sorry, please forgive me.

It doesn't matter if you're right or wrong, once you've decided to break the ice then its better you forget about who's right and who's wrong. There wont be any use for your explanation too, it will only trigger another rush of emotions and the note wont accomplish its purpose. Note is a document and can be kept as record, so anything you said might be used against you in the future. Don't tell tales, just let go of everything. Now, if you want the note to be much appreciated then you have to be creative about this too. put it where your partner will find it but they should least expect it there - in the pocket of his suit jacket, or in her hand bag or you can go a step further by taping it to the door of your bedroom or on the pillow. if you're in a relationship and not living together, ask for a meeting at a place you usually go to and place the note in your partner's hand without attaching any emotion to it because at that moment your face is where your partner will look, searching for a clue before opening the note. If your partner still love you, his or her heart will seize for a moment thinking you're breaking up with him or her

4.Send A Text or Chat

This i do a lot. Each time i had a disagreement with my wife, all we do is to chat on the whatsapp and any of us can start the chats. We can say whatever we want to say without feeling ashamed or guilty. We have thrashed out many vital issues that have scattered many homes on the pages of our phones and at the end of the day, we always say sorry to ourselves and the case is closed. One thing we always do is never to revert to the incident again no matter how but we all have the chat on our phones to always remind us not to allow it to happen again. You can send your partner a note saying you're sorry or chat with him extensively and find a common ground to met, this will do both of you some good to clear your conscience and restore your ego and your relationship will be better for it

Note: In breaking of Ice, don't involve a third party, its very dangerous to your relationship.

5. Call Your Partner

lastly, you can make a call to your partner in order to break the ice. Although, calling your partner may be your last option because most times your partner may not pick your calls if he or she is still angry. If you want to call, make sure your partner is no longer angry or hurt, put some space in between before placing the call or you can use an unknown number but you still need to be sure that your partner wont get more angrier because some people don't like surprises, especially when they are still angry. When some people see an unknown or private number, they wont pick and that might burst your bubbles and aggravates the situation. Make the call when you are sure that your partner will answer and don't go on ranting but straight to the point and make it a quick apology, to be followed by promises that will bright up your partner's day.