What To Expect In Your First Year Of Marriage..

The first year of marriage is the most complicated. It's the toughest year of the entire married life. This is fact more than a myth. Two people in marriage from different background and upbringing definetely will experience difficulties in understanding each other not to mention that some couples are from different culture and with diffrent beliefs. The coming together of two people to live together is a seriuos decision and require proper preparation.

This is a period where realities of life will set in, and the cloud of love will begin to fades away. The first year of marriage is always the time for tough decision making and the battle for supremacy is fought and won in this year. Most couple sets the standard for their marriage in this first year and This this year will provide the guidebook for the entire married life.

Let's see some of the issues that will crop up during this first year of marriage...

1. Dividing of Roles and Responsibilities

this is no gain sayin, marriage is a commitment and for it to work effectively there should be role sharing right from the blast of whistle. there shouldnt beany assumptrion in marriag, both partners must decide clearly from onset the roles each person is going to play and who is taking up which responsibilities - like who is paying the bills, who clean and manage the house, who is gonna take care of the children and who handles the school fees. other are who is in charge of foods, cooking, rent, and family functions.

neither of the partners must be overburdened and there should be a common ground for both of them to meet.

2. In-Law Management

I told my wife before marriage that non of our family member will come to stay with us more than one or two days, and we agreed on this. We maintained this principle for ten years until my wife used sentiment to break this rule. She accepted my family into our home and even convinced me to allow them but it all ended in regret. Both partners needs to decide on how to handle their family and siblings and after reaching an agreement, they must abide by it. This must be a well thought out and well trashed decision which must be strictly adhered to during their life's journey. Family and siblings could be a pain in the neck for both partners if not well managed. The decision should be well communicated to both families and it's better each partner handle and relate the decision to their own family personally. Dont allow them to find out the other way round as it might hurt them more.

3. Money Factor

Money is a powerful tool in marriage. Money issues can be the end of any relationship if not handled very carefully and with maturity. Budgeting is very esential and household expenses needs proper planning or else both partners will end up blaming each other for over shooting the budget. I emembered when we relocated to a new area and we had to change our children schools - we end up spending more than we budgetted for and i promptly blamed my wife for it - but looking at it later,i realised it woth it and its no one's fault actually.

In marrige, partners need to factor in important money issues like loan, utility bills, car maintenance, vacation, parties, and miscellaneous

4. Changes

Change they say is constant. Both partners must definetely experience some changes during the first year of marriage. Most especially the woman, after getting pregnant. In order for the union to survive they need to focus on the changes they are both going through and adjust to it, not that one partner will be expecting the other to change to soothe his or her purpose. Since changes are inevitable then both partnes must watchout for each other but if youre thinking you are perfect then your partner might just feel the same and the end of that wont be good

5. Blame Game

One major problem of young couple is the issue of who takes the blame. People find it easy to blame somebody for everything even, when its their fault. Any mistake in a relationship is the fault of both partner because it takes two to tango. Dont blame anyone for any mistakes - just identify the cause of the mistake and fix it. You may correct each other in love and show great understanding so that your partners wont feel bad

6. Sex: A Serious Topic

Sex is no joke matter. Dont even think of using sex as a waepon in marriage neither must you try to play with each other emitions. Sex is as important in marriage as the marriuage itself. Remember - some people's motive for going into mariage is sex. since their religion doesnt allow pre-marrital sex and they have no intention to fornicate and there is the urge for sex - so, they got married only for you to starve him... no way

Even during a fight, dont try to deny your parner of his or her right. Many marriages had ended on the ground of sex starvation right in the first year.